Visitors Are Welcome, But the Rules Still Apply
My housemates know it is perfectly fine to have friends or family members over. I have been known to have a backyard BBQ for all my housemates and they were welcome to bring a friend or two if they wanted. They also are aware that the house rules apply to their guests as well as them and that includes “quiet time.”
Why Visiting Hours Matter
Setting specific hours and letting their guests know, in advance, is extremely important. What your guests do or how they act affects everyone in the house. They need to know that they have to follow the same rules as everyone else does. I know how is important this is, because many of my housemates have commented on how they appreciate having a rule like that in place. I think most people, at one time or another, have experienced a party that lasted until the early hours of the morning keeping everyone in the house awake. I know I have.
Quiet Time Applies to Everyone
My set hours for “quiet time,” as I call it, are from 10:00 PM until 8:00 AM, every day. That seems to have worked out well for everyone in general. You need to decide for yourself what you feel is reasonable, keeping in mind that it applies to everyone, including the landlord.
Why I Do Not Allow Overnight Guests
My house rules state that there can be no overnight guests. This can be a touchy consideration for many potential housemates. What if their niece is coming to visit from out of the area and needs a place to stay for the night? Or if a housemate’s girlfriend or boyfriend lives 60 miles away and they don’t want them to have to drive home late at night?
The Exception That Taught Me a Lesson
I made the mistake of making an exception to the house rules by letting a housemate’s girlfriend spend the night because she lived a long way away and didn’t like driving late at night. That turned out to be a weekly occurrence. What made matters worse is, about a month later, one of my other housemate’s had a similar situation. He expected to have the same laterality. Now, in the morning I have two couples plus myself attempting to cook their own breakfast in the kitchen. Instead of having three housemates, now I have five. That experience taught me a valuable lesson: if I make exceptions, I need to be prepared for every housemate to expect the same exception. For me, the cleanest rule is simple — no overnight guests.
Final Thoughts
Visitors and overnight guests may seem like a small issue until you are living in a shared household.
When one housemate invites someone into the home, that guest is not only affecting the person who invited them. They may also affect the other housemates, the kitchen, the bathrooms, parking, noise levels, safety, and the overall comfort of the house. That is why I believe guest rules need to be clear before anyone moves in.
I allow housemates to have visitors, but visitors must respect the same house rules as everyone else. Quiet time still applies. Common courtesy still applies. The comfort of the entire household still matters.
For overnight guests, my rule is simple: I do not allow them.
That may sound strict to some people, but experience taught me that exceptions can quickly become expectations. Once one person is allowed to have an overnight guest, others naturally assume they should be allowed the same privilege.
In a private apartment, that may not matter. In a shared home, it can change the entire living arrangement.
The goal is not to control anyone’s social life. The goal is to protect the peace, safety, and comfort of everyone living in the home.
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