When I first started renting rooms in my home, I assumed most people shared the same ideas about cleanliness, guests, noise, and common courtesy.
I quickly learned that what seems like common sense to one person may not be common sense to another.
Today my House Etiquette document has been revised more than 20 times, and almost every rule exists because something happened. That is also why it will continue to get revised.
Why House Rules Really Matter
The purpose of having house rules is to prevent misunderstandings and avoid arguments. When people see what is expected of them in writing and then sign an agreement to follow these same rules, it leaves no ambiguity. The key here is to be clear and concise with your wording and descriptions.
All too frequently landlords design their rules geared toward protecting themselves and their property. That should not be their primary goal. The purpose of the rules should be focused on protecting all of the housemates. The rules are there to help maintain a safe and comfortable environment for everyone living there.
The rules also create consistency – everyone is treated the same including the landlord. The landlord is expected to follow the same rules as everyone else. If they consider themselves above the rules, it creates resentment from their fellow housemates. My father had a saying for that, “Practice what you preach.”
When you have a diverse group of people living under one roof there are bound to be conflicts. These rules, if designed properly, are there to keep conflicts to a minimum and make them easier to resolve when they do occur.
Every Rule Has a Story
When you have been a live-in landlord as long as I have been you accumulate a lot of experience and stories to go along with them. I would like to share a few of them so you can understand how certain rules ended up on my list.
Example 1: Quiet Hours
One of my tenants worked early mornings while another routinely stayed up late watching videos. Neither person was trying to be inconsiderate, but their schedules were incompatible. That’s when I created specific quiet hours.
Example 2: Visiting Hours
I have no problem with housemates having guests coming to visit, but there has to be limits. A housemate had a girlfriend that was a waitress and she would stop by after her shift was over at 11:00 PM and they liked to chat and have a good time – while everyone else was sleeping.
Example 3: Food & Beverage Sharing
This can become an ongoing issue when you have housemates sharing a refrigerator. One housemate usually kept a 6-pack of beer on hand. The other housemate didn’t, but he did enjoy having a cold one. When he drank one his housemates beers he justified it because he was going to replace it. Unfortunately, there was no time frame on when he was going to replace it. Just because the refrigerator is shared doesn’t mean everything in it is shared.
Example 4: Smoking/Vaping
You have to make it clear on what is acceptable and what is not. My housemate thought she could “skirt” the rules. She would sit in her bedroom with the window open and blow the smoke out the window. That didn’t work out so well for her. The wind worked against her and the odor seeped out from the gap under her bedroom door.
Example 5: Counter Top Safety
I was stunned one afternoon when I walked into the kitchen and one of my housemates was busily chopping up some vegetables on my laminate counter top. I thought to myself, “How could someone not know that would damage the counter top?” I stopped him, grabbed his arm and had him back away from the counter top so he could see the cut marks he had made on my island counter top.
Prospective renters may think that my some of my rules are really unnecessary until something like that happens. Think about your Teflon coated frying pans getting ruined with metal utensils, your Tupperware deteriorating from being microwaved too many times, or setting a hot coffee cup on your coffee table and permanently fogging the varnish. I’m sure you can think of a few others.
Why I Review the Rules With Applicants Before They Move In
As I explained in my article on screening potential housemates, I give serious applicants a copy of my House Etiquette rules before I approve them. Their reaction tells me a lot. But the rules are not just a screening tool. They are what keeps the household running smoothly after someone moves in.
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